He never seemed that happy in the relationship, but everyone just assumed they would eventually get married.

Now, after a long and difficult breakup, The New Lease On Life Guy has reemerged with a bang and is suddenly acting like he just got called down on The Price Is Right.

He’s not really sure how to be single but he’s goddamn happy he is, and he’s sure as hell going out tonight.

17 year old dating 28 year old-22

But The Guy Who Peaked Too Early was just getting started.

There was a field that needed to be played, and he broke up with his girlfriend when he was 24.

Now it’s seven years later, his hair got bored and left, and his high school lacrosse glory isn’t part of the conversation that much these days.

And he’s noticing that girls like his ex-girlfriend don’t seem to be all that into him anymore.

Yes, the woman fit for The Total Package will be the ultimate icing on his cake of perfection.

He imagines her often—gorgeous as they come, she turns heads; bursting with charm and charisma, she lights up every room she enters; she’s a brilliant rising star in her career and beloved by her many friends.He has four online dating profiles, and when people ask him if he’s dating anyone, he explains that he’s just too busy with his career right now for a relationship.The In-The-Closet Guy is so close to being the perfect catch—he’s handsome, he’s well-dressed, and he has a great job. The only tiny little inconvenience is that he’s not attracted to females whatsoever.The Total Package is an athlete, a musician, and an avid traveler.The Total Package is handsome—and you better believe he’s well-groomed.The Total Package has a hell of a career going, but don’t you for a second suggest that The Total Package would be a workaholic—The Total Package is a family man.